It only seems like I am a “Tiger Mom”
House on Red Corner · 2011-02-28 · Daughter, Father, Son
So there was a minor media eruption last month when a Yale professor went out on her book promotion tour. The storm was just the way a novel that is destined for the New York TImes Best-seller list is supposed to be controversial and in light of my not having any interest in actually reading the book itself, I did note that there was a particular chorus of people in the media who was opposed to some of the tactics at disciplining her children that she recited as anecdotal evidence to support her thesis that Chinese Mothers are better than American Mothers.
Tonight, I threatened TheBubster with the worst of all things possible in the mind of a nearly six year old; she had half an hour to put all her toys away after which I was going to bag up and throw away anything left on the floor.
She spent five minutes crying and frantically while sorting the various and sundry items in the not very large pile, while her brother and I left the room with all the clothes that belonged to the two of them, minus the thirty pounds of dirty clothes I dropped off at the laundromat this afternoon. After about fifteen minutes, I had sorted the mountain of clothes into “His” and “Hers” and went in to check up on her. She had made significant headway against the pile but was still distraught. I gave her a hug and asked her if she thought it might be time to let go of some of the things, she quickly agreed with me that it was attachment that was causing her suffering; not in so many words mind you. Then I left to continue with my task of dealing with the clothes.
After the half hour had passed, she had most everything taken care of but there remained a small pile of things that needed to be sorted. I told her, I’d give her another five minutes and then she could quit. During the time period, which was not exactly that long, I made my bed and put Bud to sleep, while she continued working.
Once he was sound asleep, I went into her room and helped her finish up. She then told me that it would probably make a lot of sense if “we put things away when we were done with them, so we wouldn’t have such a huge mess, like I left for many days.” I was pretty amazed at her insight but will remain dubious about whether it makes its way into action anytime soon.
I ran her a hot bath and gave her fifty cents for her piggy bank and a cookie to eat in the tub. We lit a candle for the bathroom so that it would be peaceful like the rest of the apartment. Moving Bud into his own bed, I have found is easier if he starts out with his pillow on my bed, but i still had to lie down with him for a few minutes as a result of this transition. TheBubster walked into the bedroom carrying the candle. I should her a quick night time prayer at her door and in her bed. She defiantly stated that she was not tired, but fell asleep immediately!
Now, I am going to go have a hot bath and relax a bit before doing my evening devotions. Tomorrow, I will be sorting out the clothes that will stay and donate the rest and I believe at that point the very beginning phase of our new life will be complete. The next season will be about refining our living space and adjusting to our new routines.