I am not flailing

Just so you know, I am not flailing, nor am I have a mid-life crisis. What is genuninly happening is a natural progression of life events has caused me to pass through a psychological waypoint and now I have to set a new navigation for a longer term set of objectives.

My youngest is a High School Graduate

The promise made during their middle school years, was that the place we lived was going to be where we were going to be located until they graduated. Well that has happened, and I want to go someplace, anyplace and find some new opportunities and some new challenges. Its not me, it's this town. Its a good little town for raising up a young folk or two, but for real challenges, real problems of interesting scope, not so much. Nearly everyone, don't get me wrong y'all, when I begin to talk about something I am interested in, genuinely mentally, academcially, passionately interested in, turns on the "well is it my turn to speak yet" timer. And the conversation lapses into a run around of gossipy emotionalisms.

I exaggerate. Because I am a whiney drama queen.

It just feels like it is not expected that I am going to have anything more interesting to say than them. AND I DON"T EVEN WANT TO COMPETE, on that level.

I want to go expand my brain, enrich my soulful connections, and find a place where my skills, talents, and passions are embraced. Not cordoned off in a box to be isolated from the rest of the General Population.

Again, did I mention that I am a whiney baby?

So where?

Yesterday, I woke up thinking that I would sell my home and move to Berlin. Neither happened yesterday. I called some people to talk me out of it. Well, they didn't really do that, but they did suggest some other places which might be a lower bar to hurdle that would be a good spot to land for a while. It has gotten me thinking. Maybe. Maybe this is what will happen.

I don't really know at the moment, but it is still early days in this new era. Many things could happen, and most of them seem positive from this perspective. So stay tuned.

In other news

Harry Kane got his first penalty of this World Cup blocked, so he appealed to the referee. It appears that the opposing goalkeeper left his line too early, so he got another chance to take the penalty. Croatia did not quite recover from that. They put up a solid fight, but that emotional appeal seemed to take some steam out of their play.

Also my database within the markdown yaml design to work with agents who walk the graph is gaining some more solid testing. I rewrote some of the harness tools to cause the words in my prompts to supply weighted memories from two years of conversations, and expanded the skills for writing out nw specifications for code. This is not really anything major or important, it is just a thing I have been doing for myself as a hobby.

Hobbies do occaisionally manage to become all consumers of time.

Anyways, I think I am going to go read a book.